It was seven weeks with Zulay, just months after she and Kevin decided that the coronavirus pandemic and the subsequent shutdown of their joint industries was indeed the perfect time to start building their family. “I thought, ‘Okay, everything is closed. The studios are closed. The agencies are closed. This is our time,” she explained. “As you can see, it wasn’t what we planned.”
Instead, when she dealt with the physical pain of her loss (“You won’t have a miscarriage one day and it just goes away, physically too. You have been in this thing for your body to heal for a long time”). The turmoil almost destroyed them. “You’re ashamed, you feel like, ‘Wow, my body couldn’t do it,'” actress shared If Loving You is Wrong.
“I remember just thinking of every reason and just really microanalytically analyzing everything I did and everything I didn’t do,” she continued. “Like, to the point, ‘I drove home late that night and drove over that pothole.'”
She even accused her family of leaving her mother’s house that night. “There is just so much emptiness and shame and anger that you have about yourself,” she explained. “I was mad at my doctor. I just hit everyone a little, including my own family. Like, ‘Why did you let me do this?'”