“After I left the last treatment center, I knew what made me happy,” Selena explains, “and it was a connection.”
But on the advice of her doctor, Selena’s planned philanthropic visit to Kenya to see the schools she was helping to raise money to build was delayed by several years due to her kidney transplant in 2017. Once she’s finally ready to make the trip in 2019, she has vowed to visit quarterly
“The truth is I’ve never felt good enough,” Selena admitted. “Even when I’m on stage in front of an audience, I always find that one person who doesn’t like me and I believe them, I want to believe in myself. The people I’ve met here in Kenya, I just want to feel like I deserve to be here with them.”
During her time in the Masai Mara, Selena connects with the students, discussing love, ambition and, in a particularly emotional conversation with a woman, suicidal thoughts.
After her time in Kenya, Selena heads straight to London and Paris to promote her music, but she’s struggling to adjust to her life as a celebrity. “It just seems like such a waste of time,” she said. “What am I doing right now?”
Selena later admitted that “part of my heart is still in Kenya,” Selena admitted, “I felt guilty about being there at times. I hate this, I feel like I went and filmed and experienced something, but it’s just so hard because I feel so selfish. Am I feeling great? Yes, and do I feel like I’ve made an impression? Yes, but do I feel like I’ve done enough? No.”
“Talking to someone about mental health in Kenya is wonderful,” she continued. “I don’t know if I felt, ‘Oh, I made it and I’m such a great person.’ No, it’s just the beginning for me.”